Today Is So Dreary. I Love It.

by Braithwaite

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about

This is an acoustic demo EP of some songs which were going to be recorded in a full band setting. I was going through a sort of tough time. These songs are that. Since I recorded these demos, I have pretty much decided not to rerecord this EP with a full band because I have moved past the person about whom they are written. That said, maybe one day a few of them will be rehashed. We have performed them with a full band, and they sound pretty decent. So maybe one day.

I recorded the songs in a stairwell at my college with a Zoom H4N Handy Recorder, lent to me by my friend Ben Larson.

On track 7, the guitar is most out of tune. Wasn't planning on including that cover, then I liked it a good bit so I kept it.

Track 8 features my friend Matt Jones on guitar. I may also have ripped some of track 6 off of a song he wrote. I know it's dumb to cover TBWBHOS, but it was important to me at the time.

Special thanks to those two guys and anyone who has listened to my problems.

Note: I know the songs have long titles. Naming songs is not my forte'. Anyways, if you download the whole thing, when you're unzipping the folder it may tell you the destination path is too long. If that happens, highlight all the tracks, rename the first one of them "track" (causing them all to become "track," "track 2," etc.), then try to unzip again. That should work. Or just don't listen to the music. :(

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released October 12, 2014

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Slow Rosary Louisiana

A musical project by Rene Duplantier.

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Track Name: I don't know if you know how hard it is to make new friends sophomore year, but I bet you will soon.
We had spent the entire day together doing absolutely nothing. You took a nap as I watched from over my phone, just avoiding writing papers that were past due. We were avoiding something else too. Our time had come to an end.

Your phone kept going off but I just couldn't wake you up cause every moment in which we were awake together would break us soon enough. Your mom and dad called way too many times. I could hardly take the lines they spoke of flying planes and states of minds. Then it was time.

I put my bags upon my shoulders and told myself I'd keep the crying inside, and you said to put my bags down. Slowly we embraced, but you wouldn't let me see your face. You had been saying that it'd be fine. I knew if I could see your eyes that they'd say: "Nevermind. It's not fine this time."

When I tried to break away, you held on tight I barely heard you say: "Wait. That's not good enough."

With your head resting on my shoulders, I knew the next few months would be much colder for you while you're home. Even though you said it'd be fine, when I left the room I realized if I could see your eyes that they'd say: "Nevermind. It's not fine this time."
Track Name: I'm not okay because you're not okay. (Let's learn to communicate.)
I am an open book that comes with a set of arms and a crowbar, so I can pry open any closed book hearts. I thought that with you I made progress, and we were seeing things the same. I thought that you could process when I was feeling any pain.

And I thought you'd care, but maybe I was stuck in high school. Maybe it meant more to me that you'd listen to me speak than it did I that I was listening to you. I didn't think it was that way, but now when everyone else is gone, I can't even find you.

And now I don't even know what friendship is anymore.

Now I am a torn up book and anyone can see the pages on the floor, pieces of me, but hardly anyone bothers to try to read the whole story not like I thought you wanted to. I guess I was just making things up that weren't true.

But now you're saying that you cared and that I should've cared more. You didn't realize you weren't there, and all I could find was you. But you didn't see me and now you're wanting to. And now I've let you down. How things turn around. My pages are burning.

And now I don't even know what friendship is anymore.

Maybe in six months, it was too much; and when you got home, you realized that I was too much. You had enough of my trying to get you to be open with me all the time, late at night, and when I showed you the first song I wrote about you. You seemed so happy you almost cried. Whatever happened to those eyes? In just three months, you put aside any memories, and it felt like I died and that you had to forget so you wouldn't cry. But I still cry. I still cry all the time.

People have never been so worried about me than they are now.

And now I don't even know what friendship is anymore.
Track Name: Please don't find my Soundcloud, not yet anyway.
I cried like a bitch while writing this record. I questioned its release because what if you decided to check it out, and yes I know at first you'll be pissed. But at least you might realize how much you were missed.

I didn't mean to write all these thoughts down.

I wrote most of these songs with a homemade guitar pick. I wrote most of these songs while I was feeling sick over you, over thoughts that never became reality. The problem with what I've been singing is I still don't know if you ever felt the same.

I didn't mean to write all these thoughts down.

I lent you my favorite book and you didn't bother reading a single page. And you never give it back. We made plans to travel across the country together, but the airline tickets weren't ever looked up. And neither of us packed. Ever since the moment in the first song, all I've been looking forward to from you is a response. And yeah it might seem shitty that I wrote just about an entire record to try to stop having fucked up thoughts.

But if you decide to listen write me a letter, so I'll have your address if I ever decide to apologize. 3472 HWY 39. I honestly think you can figure out the rest.

If you decide to listen write me a letter, so I'll have your address if you ever decide to apologize. 851 East Lemon Street, 5011 Willow Hall.
Figure out the rest. It's in Tempe. Please respond.

I'm afraid to ask you for my book back because it very well could be the last conversation we ever have.
Track Name: Read Receipts
Can we get in a fight because I won't go another night in this state of uncertainty? I want you to know that I've only ever wanted you to grow and to grow with me.

But you can't seem to bring yourself to say it, and I know that there's no way left to save this.The pictures that we had are lost for good, and I won't bother taking anymore,

Because it hurts me to see your face, and seeing me just isn't quite the same cause you don't care anymore. We fake our laughs and craft our smiles. This hurts like hell but it's been coming for a while. The time has ended on our trial. Step with me out of denial.

Open texts. Don't respond. It's become routine for you to forget the times we talked. Sending texts. No response. Why the fuck do I keep waiting for your honest thoughts?

But you can't seem to bring yourself to say it, and I know that there's no way left to save this.The pictures that we had are lost for good, and I won't bother taking anymore,

Because it hurts me to see your face, and seeing me just isn't quite the same cause you don't care anymore. We fake our laughs and craft our smiles. This hurts like hell but it's been coming for a while. The time has ended on our trial. Step with me out of denial.

I can't sleep at 3 am wondering how you just can't remember how we felt on those nights we stopped laughing for a bit and talked about the fucked up shit we could tell hardly anyone else.

This will never be the same. I hope that one day I bring myself to say
what we had was for the best. This will never be the same. I hope one day I bring myself to honestly say that this was for the best.

Read receipts, no one else, conversations, a lack of wealth, seventeen, growing up. Maybe you were just too young. Islanders, broken backs, shitty movies, quiet dads, older bros, equal thoughts, but apparently different feelings in our hearts.
Track Name: I thought that if I could manage a band from three states away, you could help me manage our friendship from less than three miles.
You were the shoulder for crying. You were the doctor in house. You were the one who was lying. I heard the truth from your mouth. You were the chemical burns. You were the moon on the first. You were the chirping of birds, the chirping only I heard.

Then you felt that it'd be best if I didn't know what you are.Then you felt that it'd be best if I didn't know you at all.

So it only makes sense that now I think comes the part where we both die. I didn't want to say good bye, but it might be time.

You were the cold on the trigger. I thought I could make it all right. You were the perfect thinker who I thought would dissect my mind. Now I don't know you, and maybe what I thought was wrong. You were the conflict that I thought was ours but it was all your own.

Now you feel that it's best if I didn't know what you are. Now you feel that it's best if I don't know you at all.

So it only makes sense that now I think comes the part where we both die. I didn't want to say good bye, but it might be time.

You are the calloused tips of my fingers. You are the black rain cloud that lingers over me. You're one of the greatest days of my life but those are just the days when I don't cry about you.
Track Name: May 10th, 2014 Coda
Can we spend an entire day together doing absolutely nothing?
We can't spend an entire day together.